案例: High third son Xiao Tong is a confident and sunny girl。Her academic performance is in the middle, as a monitor, not only their own efforts to make progress, but also often encourage and help other students。The head teacher said, "Xiao Tong is the last child in the class that the teacher needs to worry about。But recently, the class teacher found that Xiaodong has changed significantly, whether in class or after class, how can you hear Xiaodong speak, let alone her hearty laughter。The class work assigned by the teacher, she always seems very impatient, eager to hand in the assignment immediately to busy their own things。After the mid-term exam, Xiao Tong's results are not ideal, the head teacher decided to talk to her alone。Xiao Tong red eyes to the teacher said that she actually do not like the present themselves, every day is very annoying, but there is no way。Since the third year of high school, her mother has stared at her very closely, asking questions about all her classmates and friends, as if they were her competitors。My mother often used various reasons to look around her room, as if she did not trust her, for fear that she would play with her mobile phone and chat with classmates。What saddens her most is that her mother says she is always smiling and has no pressure at all, which can not be done, and it is best not to do the work of the monitor。So intense study, how to have time to serve everyone。Her mother kept saying these things in her ear, and gradually she also felt that she did not have too much pressure is the fault, she must seize all the time to study every day。However, with such hard work, her grades not only didn't improve but also dropped a lot。Xiao Tong burst into tears, as if to pour out all the grievances of this stage。

　　分析: In the third year of high school, the heavy learning tasks and frequent examinations and tests make the candidates bear a certain psychological pressure。Their nerves are more sensitive and their moods more volatile than ever。Candidates generally reflect that they are most afraid to see their father's disappointed eyes and most afraid to hear their mother's endless nagging。They know that their parents are all for themselves, but they feel that their self-confidence is burned and their self-esteem is suppressed。Parents' ardent expectations fall on themselves, not power but heavy pressure, sometimes very aggrieved, very discouraged。

　　At the age of 17 or 18, although children may not be willing to share everything with their parents, it cannot be denied that they still have a strong need for intimacy and trust。Home is a warm harbor, and every child wants to feel safe, relaxed, comfortable and positive in the contact with parents at home, so that they can go all out to learn。This requires parents to adjust their restlessness, overcome their own difficulties, and strive to create such a family atmosphere for their children。

　　支招: The parent-child relationship is supposed to be one of intimacy, mutual respect and mutual trust。In such a relationship, family members can work together to create a safe and relaxed family atmosphere。

　　Parents should have stable psychological quality and deal with things calmly

　　Whether the family atmosphere is relaxed or not is related to the psychological quality of parents。In the case, it is obvious that Xiaotong's mother is extremely anxious about the child's college entrance examination, and always hopes to do something to make the child change something in order to better take the exam。They do not know that their nervousness and eagerness to change the status quo make it difficult for children to accept, and can not achieve the real purpose。Children experience not many things, when they find that their parents panic, they will be confused。Therefore, I hope that parents can stabilize their position, let their children maintain a normal and normal state of study and life, give their children pressure relief, and encourage them to easily fight。

　　A common challenge for parents and children in senior year is the ups and downs of grades。Especially in the face of declining grades, parents should show a "not chaotic" attitude and calm, treat their children as usual, analyze the reasons for unsatisfactory grades with their children, discuss solutions and need help together, and do not change their emotions or even change themselves because of their children's test results。In the face of the college entrance examination and the future, parents can use a humorous tone to talk with their children, "I see what major is good, and the line is the number one", and even discuss the problem of "how to do if the test fails" with their children, this attitude of not avoiding problems can let the children see the parents' stable mood and problem-solving ability。The support of parents can make children more confident, self-esteem, and stimulate their internal forward momentum。

　　Trust children and give them more initiative

　　College entrance examination review is an activity with strong autonomy。At school, teachers will appropriately reduce the specific requirements for students to learn as the exam approaches and give students more time for independent learning。After a day of intense learning at school, children at home are mostly adjusted and supplementary learning according to their actual situation。Students' physical and mental state should be relaxed, and the learning environment should be comfortable, so that they can more actively arrange the content of independent learning and put it into action。If parents do not take this into account, interfere too much in the child's review process, force the child to arrange the review according to their own wishes or blame the child will not learn, do not study hard, etc., it will make it in an unsafe state, learning initiative and enthusiasm will be frustrated。

　　At the same time, children's study and life in school have formed a habit, no matter who they talk with, what class work they do, whether to ask the teacher questions after class, etc., are children according to their real needs and the requirements of the school。These habits make them feel secure and happy。If the child is not showing "discomfort," parents should try not to intervene。Parents should establish such a concept from all aspects of the child: I can not take the exam for him, can not live for him, I can only do my best to trust and respect him。

　　Have realistic goals and expectations, do not compare or suppress

　　Parents have expectations and goals for their children who take part in the exam, and this goal is usually formed according to the objective situation of their children's scores and actual abilities。Individual parents' expectations of their children exceed their abilities and efforts。There are also individual parents who are due to face, have the idea of comparison, and always use "other people's children" to motivate their children。The original intention of parents is to encourage children and stimulate their motivation to learn, but unrealistic goals and oppression hurt children's self-esteem, will make children feel pressure, and may have the opposite effect。In the face of the college entrance examination, no child does not pay attention to and does not want to work hard。Parents generally do not have to say too much in learning motivation and ideal future, but should pay attention to the review process and effect, straighten out their attitude towards their children's college entrance examination, treat them with a normal heart, and provide help and companionship for their children as much as possible, so that they can do a good job of reviewing with a normal heart and walk into the exam room confidently。

　　Beijing No. 166 Middle School teacher Zhang Yao